Viewer blasts news: literally.

October 2002

The shrieks of sheiks and their apologists blared from his television; the Crescent News Network's talking heads were bobbing up and down, as their guests ranted against the Big and Little Satans.

Someone in America finally snapped.

An American Jew, Peter Pupik, was arrested Sunday evening for shooting out his TV after the second day of Sukkot, an esoteric Jewish commemoration similar to The Feast of Tabernacles (both holidays are celebrated by Jewish and Christian fundamentalists). He was later released on $50,000 bond.

Your humble reporter had an exclusive interview with Mr. Pupik.

"I went to change the channel but every single one of them had some moron shouting "Islam means peace." I just couldn't believe it. Two weeks ago Sean Hannity had Pat Robertson on-air revealing that Islam is a religion of death; bingo, one week later, The Council on American-Islamic Relations published Fox News Chief Roger Ailes' email address, and we're back to "Allah is your friend.""

I asked Mr. Pupik if he was concerned for his children.

"Of course I am," he replied. "My first response was shock, and terrible sadness; I didn't want my kids to come into the living room to see and hear this; they were getting confused: over and over they see pictures of the planes attacking the WTC and the Pentagon, and then all they keep hearing is "Islam means peace, Islam means peace."

"I did it for the children; for my children's sake, the only solution was to take my shotgun and shoot the TV, " Pupik confessed.

Television viewing for the Pupik household normally would have begun Sunday evening after their holiday, and should have lasted until Friday afternoon: "Now my children won't have to pray to the square headed idol" Pupik moaned.

Police Public Affairs Officer Ronnie Schmuggegi dismissed Pupik's explanation: "Everyone knows that left wing journalists control the news, and viewers who object can easily be replaced with illegal aliens getting amnesty from the Democrats and the Republicans. What makes Pupik think that he's so special?"

National new programs are often sponsored by Arab oil money, as well as from the promotional sales of KY Jelly on popular sitcoms. Indeed, the public's response has been the focus of recent attention by the American Civil Liberties Union and the Anti-Defamation League. We could get no direct comment before going to press, but informed sources for the ACLU and the ADL both voiced concern, hinting that publicizing the news of Pupik's act could be construed "as an endorsement of anti-Muslim, or or worse, overly patriotic sentiments."

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